I was a guest blogger on a dear friend’s blog, MamaGab. I feel that this is an important subject to help others understand what it is those of us that have experienced a loss need whenever they become pregnant and want to share the news.
Mother’s Day. It’s a day that comes and goes every year. Mothers all around the world are cherished and loved for the sacrifice and relentless love towards their children. Flowers are given, chocolates are eaten and many beautiful masterpieces are proudly hung on refrigerators created by little hands.
But that’s not everyone’s story. Some women are overcome with empty arms and lost memories. Oh, how much they long to be the woman that stands up whenever Mom’s are recognized at churches and events. And how ashamed some feel that their body just will not be in unity with the desire of their heart. Others stand because they have living children but wonder if anyone even acknowledges the baby they lost. Do they even count?
YES THEY DO.
Sometimes you get the opportunity to watch your child grow up and other times they are swiftly gone before you even get the chance. Either way you are a Mother.
There are so many different emotions that come with Mother’s Day. You’re thinking, “I don’t want to spoil anyone else’s joy by bringing up my loss.” “It’s just not fair how they can have text book pregnancies and my body just will not work!” I am so sorry you are struggling with these thoughts. We all have. If you haven’t yet, you will.
This Mother’s Day don’t be afraid to celebrate a baby that was lost. You may not be celebrating moments you’ve shared together but you can remember them and make them a part of the day. To those that know someone that has lost a baby don’t be afraid to mention them. You will not be reminding the Mom of the pain but instead will be validating it and acknowledging that, that baby counts.
I choose to celebrate all of the babies God has blessed my womb with carrying even if they were only there a short while. Because they have made an impact on my life forever and are worth remembering. I can’t hug my boys on Mother’s Day without thinking about the 5 babies I am longing to embrace one day.
So, Happy Mother’s Day to all women that have carried life in their wombs. I pray it is a day full of an outpouring of love for all that you’ve endured and hope for.
Time does not heal all wounds. As time goes on the reality of loss becomes more and more clear. You realize all of the “should have been’s.” What does heal all wounds is allowing God to gently comfort in a … Continue reading →
Break the silence. Tell your story. Your baby, no matter how small, has a story worth telling. Miscarrying 4 times has impacted me immensely in so many different ways. One beautiful thing that has happened is that I have used … Continue reading →
I wanted to share something sweet with you that happened. I just finished going through a bible study, “Grieving The Child I Never Knew” by Kathe Wunnenburg, with someone. While I was working on one of the chapters my 5 year old, … Continue reading →
I was just looking through my email and lo and behold I stumbled across a subject line that said, “Week 27: Moms on the move!” Sigh………..
Yes, that’s right. I should be 27 weeks pregnant. Thank you maternity store for that reminder. Instead I am 19 weeks post miscarriage. Now, I know that they did not maliciously slip that into my inbox to toil with me. I do not blame them. It’s just so hard to know where I should be in my pregnancy and what I’m missing.
And what I’m missing is…….
a lifetime of memories
my youngest being a big brother
and so, so much more.
Those of us that have experienced a loss have lost more than just a pregnancy. We lost OUR baby not just a pregnancy. Please acknowledge our babies. Because until you acknowledge them there is no way you can validate our pain.
The grief of loss can feel like you’re in deep waters with no rescue in sight. I know….I feel like I am coming in and out of deep waters constantly. But every time I experience what this verse says,
So, look up, my friend. God is reaching down to rescue you from this sea of grief and so much more.
Well, as we are now entering into the holiday season I’m sure many of you are feeling a wave of intense emotions coming over you. Something about getting together with family and creating memories brings out all of the should’ve … Continue reading →
Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. My family and I remembered and celebrated the 5 babies I have lost to miscarriage. It was a wonderful time of acknowledging the pain in losing them but also the hope we … Continue reading →
It’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today I am remembering my 5 sweet babies as well as your little ones that are in heaven. May we all find comfort and peace today as we take some time to reflect on … Continue reading →
“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.” ~President Ronald Reagan
In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. All across the country walks and candle vigils are done to remember babies lost and raise awareness. I hope you are involved in raising awareness in your community.
Of course, you can do this by sharing your story. Let’s unsilence our grief in October because not only will it let others see how many women are affected but it is better to grieve with others than alone. And, remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!